Have you ever wondered how we can call, text, email, video chat, and communicate in unprecedented ways, but still be disconnected? Despite our rapidly-expanding technology, we seem to find it difficult to communicate what matters most with those who matter most. As the generation gap widens and the pace of life accelerates, loneliness and social disconnect are happening at epic levels.
Take Evelyn, for example. Evelyn is a former college English professor. She spent her entire life teaching people to take a hard look at difficult issues, empathize with others, read critically, and communicate compassionately. She is well-read, brilliant, and residing in an assisted living facility so her husband, Mark, can get the help he needs for his advanced Alzheimers. Evelyn is doing her best to remain engaged. She started a short story club for her neighbors and does monthly lectures on family history, culture, and other topics. But her world and sphere of influence have shrunk dramatically. When her family comes to visit, they spend much of their time answering Mark’s questions.
Andrew and Tara have found themselves facing the rest of their lives five years earlier than planned. Andrew’s company offered him a generous early retirement package to make room for rising young talent. The offer seemed too good to pass up at the time, but now Andrew finds himself unemployed for the first time in his adult life. He feels too young to do any of the stereotypical retiree activities, and he doesn’t like to golf. He and Tara, used to long to-do lists and pressing deadlines, are now facing empty schedules and too much time.
At first, Richard found it really easy to be involved in his kids’ and grandkids’ lives. When they were young, the grandkids thought a visit from Grandpa was the best part of their day. But the families grew, and moved. Now his teenage grandchildren don’t seem all that interested in Richard’s stories. And his high school and military buddies all seem to be either sick or too busy to talk. Looking through picture albums reminds him of all the friends he’s lost touch with and the close relationships he used to have with his family.
Does this sound familiar to you? Are you aware of similar circumstances?
We are facing a communication and relationship crisis among our older generations. We continue to isolate, marginalize, and ignore our most experienced friends and family members. Increasingly, younger generations use their technological prowess to feel superior to those who came before them, even turning the monikers of older generations into insults. The more we rely on technology that has to be replaced every two years, the easier it is to see a huge portion of our population as irrelevant or obsolete.
There is something deeply wrong with a society that shuns one of its most important resources. These older couples and individuals often have stores of experience, untapped skills, and free time to help and lift others. We have to unleash their potential for good and heal the generation gap if we want to stabilize our rapidly-crumbling society.
What if instead of slowly losing friends and influence as years went by, people were able to increase communication and heal relationships? What would happen if everyone had a well-connected network with whom to share ideas, work on problems, and grow? What if older generations learned to use trending technology to enhance their lives and the lives of those they love? These answers may not completely heal the generation gap, but they are a good place to start.
The Hearts to Children course is designed to help those 55 and older heal and build relationships by adopting new rhythms of communication. The course embraces communication technology without diminishing the importance of meaningful personal connections. Participants will create groups of four (two couples or four individuals) that will work closely together as they complete course materials. Because they will help each other through personal changes and epiphanies, these groups will create lifelong relationships of trust. As they grow individually and as a group, participants will begin communicating their discoveries with their personal relations. Individuals will feel empowered to reach out to friends and loved ones and help them engage. They will take their place as mentors, supporters, and cherished friends. Groups will learn self-reliance and establish habits for regular communication with their personal relations.
Older generations aren’t the only ones who are disconnected. The generation gap goes both ways. In fact, the more connected young people are to digital media and devices, the less connected they are to what makes life truly meaningful. How often have you heard complaints that the younger generation has no understanding about hard work, ethics, morality, and the wisdom of those who came before? In most cases, these misunderstandings aren’t malicious. Young people are victims of our industrial social norms and obsession with convenience. In the past, children and youth were given serious responsibilities from a young age. They had to regularly communicate with peers and adults to ensure those responsibilities were carried out to avoid serious negative consequences. Youth today face different challenges than their predecessors, but there seems to be a growing trend to remove as much responsibility as possible. If we continue to provide youth with myriad distractions and no responsibility, they will be unprepared to deal with life’s challenges and requirements.
The Hearts to Children model is built to help younger generations as well as their older counterparts. Young adults (17-25) will serve as consultants to help course participants navigate their digital assets. The YA consultants can use the income from Hearts to Children to save money for college or missions. They will gain experience in teaching, public speaking, and customer service. They will learn critical life lessons alongside course participants as 55+ers learn critical life lessons and start broadcasting them to their relationships. And most importantly, they will build relationships with older generations and benefit from their insight.
Our goal is to heal the generation gap. As we do that, we believe we will also see drastic changes in individual people. Older participants will feel empowered to take an active role in their lives and relationships. They will feel more connected to their world and able to make a real difference. Their expertise will no longer be wasted or allowed to deteriorate.
Some of the young people who participate may think they are already fully connected and engaged with their world. After all, they have the latest smartphone and hundreds of friends on social media. They may be surprised at how difficult it is to communicate with real people about real things without the lens of their smart device. Their work with Hearts to Children and the groups of four that sponsor them will help them naturally overcome what has become an epidemic of ineptitude. They will learn to form meaningful relationships and engage with their world on a much less superficial level.
The more people participate in Hearts to Children, the more their circles of family and friends will hear about it and join in. The more meaningful relationships we are able to form between and among different age groups, the sooner we can heal the generation gap and move forward together.
Next up—Chapter 9: Lifecast App
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If you’re interested in joining the mastermind group or launch team for the John and Abigail Center or any of the partner organizations, contact us.